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Descriptive commenting
Describing what a child is doing, or how a game is progressing, or what the characters in imaginative play are doing is a massively effective way of engaging with children.
It improves their verbal skills and comprehension - you are giving language to the activity some of which language may not be familar, but is understandable to the child because of the context of the play or game.
It provides the child with the experience of a parent who is intently engaged in their play and paying full attention to it.
Helps a parent maintain their attention on what a child is actually doing. In order to describe the activity, you have to pay attention to it.
A parent becomes "an appreciative audience" for a child's play activity.
#ATTENTION
Ignore and distract
The opposite of #Attention is #Ignoring
The psych works on the basis that any attention is better than no attention
Parents tend to make the mistake of ignoring good behaviour (because it doesn't stand out, and doesn't obstruct your agenda), and criticising bad behaviour.
Following this approach essentially gives attention only to bad behaviour ! - ie. The exact opposite of what will help children develop good habits of social interaction.
If they can't get positive attention (eg. praise, descriptive commenting, etc.), children will settle for negative attention (criticism, making mummy angry or embarassed, etc.)
#IGNORING
#TECHNIQUES
Children (and adults come to that) crave attention
The supply of adult #Attention
The Incredible Years | Training series for Parents, Teachers, and children
The evidence-based number 1 most effective parenting technique of all time
The #evidence-based number #1 most effective parenting technique of all time
#Love is not a technique. Love is maybe a #context , or what Heidegger would call a #foresake-of-which
Or maybe #love is a #declaration , or maybe love is a feeling , or etc.
One thing love for sure is not is a #technique .
Although the practical actions of taking care of someone "because you love them" will probably involve the practice and practicing of lots and lots of techniques.
"I kept looking for the word 'Love' "
Six ways to raise a resilient child | Life and style | The Guardian
Wealthy families find stamp duty loophole to buy property for children
Alyson Schafer Advice: Stop Over-Praising Your Kids | HuffPost Canada
The article says #encouragement is a better alternative to #praise ... I guess what I think of as praise actually is encouragement...
children (and adults) get feedback from everyone we interact with all the time... from other children, from their teachers and relatives. Every interaction essentially involves feedback of some kind.
There is no avoiding feedback.
So the issue for a parent is not should I give my children feedback.
The issue is: what kind of feedback gives my children the greatest benefit, taking into account not just today, but next week and next year and ten years from now.
I think the key to effective praising is specificity...
Don't say: "You're so polite"
Say: "That was good asking for your juice"
Don't say: "you're so smart"
Say: "you correctly added 3 to 5 to make 8"
How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk - by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
#Pippa recommends #shit-sandwich ... put any criticism between two slices of #praise
How #game #theory can help you do a better job of parenting | Aeon Ideas
Kids are master manipulators, so use #game #theory